The Tomatometer is a useless ratings tool.

And really, what else does the website Rotten Tomatoes have? Well, maybe the audience rating, which is the only accurate thing they can realistically claim. You see, the tomatometer is just an amalgamation of all the reviews by critics which are either positive or negative.

Now, I don't know about you and this is just my opinion but I, like most people, don't put any stock in critics' reviews. They are usually the opposite of what I end up feeling. Perfect example is Seven Pounds(2008). There were the most painfully bad reviews the weekend this movie opened, and going hand in hand with those negative reviews(by critics) was a tomatometer rating of 26%. I personally LOVE this movie, and I know alot of other movie fans, and Will Smith fans, who love it as well and they're jaws drop everytime I mention that this movie got such horrendously negative press. The audience rating for Seven Pounds btw is 77%. I'd rest my case but I feel like saying a little more.

It's also a pretty impossibly task to determine what makes a positive or negative review. Especially if you read reviews by critics or certain webmasters which contain blatantly ambiguous phrases which would lead you to believe they're going to slam the movie and then at the last sentence of the paragraph...................7/10! And vice versa.

Here's an example of each, see if you can determine the end result:

Star Wars:Clone Wars Review -

"As much as I worried about how the animation looked in the trailers, I’ve got to admit within about 3 minutes I was totally sold on it and thought it worked and looked quite beautiful."

"Instead of the iconic opening crawl setting the stage, some 1960′s game show announcer does some ass awful narration to start the film. I wanted to claw out my own ears he sounded so bad. Damn… and we’re only 30 seconds into the movie!"

"The dialog was beyond horrendous. I’m not even going to go into it"

"Yes, there are many rotten things wrong with this “movie”, but as I mentioned there was a hell of a lot of really high quality action and “fun” that had me being entertained despite the weaknesses. I refuse to call this a true “Star Wars” movie, and I’ll never accept it as cannon, but for what it was, by the time the credits roled I didn’t mind it too much."

Care to guess the rating? 6/10. I don't know about you but that's about the most schizophrenic road map from review to rating I've ever read.

Here's the opposite end:

A Very Harold And Kumar Christmas Review -

"As far as comedy goes it’s undeniable that this movie hits a couple of very strong high notes a few times. There’s a great little homage to the classic “A Christmas Story” frozen pole scene that nearly made me spit up my popcorn, a few sharp and well timed one liners and a great scene exploring the true sexuality of Neil Patrick Harris that all had me laughing really hard. It seems like all the Harold and Kumar films have been able to hit those high notes that provide some of the best laughs of the year."

"It was a very well written and acted scene that I’m sure made a lot of married guys pause for a second to think about their wives"

"You just can’t have a Harold and Kumar film without Neil Patrick Harris. This guy is pure entertainment on a thin stick. No, he wasn’t quite as funny in this third installment of the franchise as he was in the other two, but he still delivered some of the best laughs in the movie and is fun to watch on screen."

"While there certainly are some great laugh out loud moments in A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas, the unfortunate thing is there just aren’t enough. Good comedies have the BIG laugh moments, a bunch of GOOD laugh moments, and then a bunch of smaller grin moments. Harold and Kumar hit the BIG laughs, but after those few scenes there wasn’t much else to smile at. It felt desperate and random and… well… dull"

"There are some big laugh out loud moments with a solid “moral of the story” hit at the end and Neil Patrick Harris is always a treat, but unfortunately it just isn’t all that funny and feels more like a random assortment of skits than a feature film."

Yeah, another spaghetti straw of a review. Annnnnnnnnd drumroll! 4/10!

Seriously, just cut and paste all the multiple personalities represented here and try to make up one positive or one negative review. Exhausting just navigating. Admittedly, I used two reviews from the same person because this individual is a HUGE proponent of the Rotten Tomatoes system. So much so that in virtually every sentence about movies the freshness rating is mentioned ad nauseum. Not a selling point.

Again, this was just my opinion but i know i'm not the only one.

To those who got robbed, we salute you!

I know I'm not the only one who was bored by this year's oscars, though for a different reason. I didn't know ahead of time who was sure to win, I was just bored by those that did. They didn't deserve to in my opinion. Those who got robbed this year by either getting nominated and losing to the King's Speech et al, or by not getting nominated at all. I'll only cover the categories I care about. Starting from the top:

Best Picture

The Social Network - Best picture of the year. Just accept it.
Inception - Also better than The King's Speech.

Oh and something else, I haven't even seen The King's Speech and I know it wasn't better than The Social Network, just trust me on this. Saying that those who thought it shouldn't have won most likely haven't seen it is bullshit, it wasn't as good, plain and simple. I'm not the only who would say that, if you claim to have never said "I don't even need to see that movie to know it's not as good" or some variation then you're a fucking liar. Just my opinion. Moving on.

Shutter Island - Should've been there to bump King's Speech out.
The American - Should've been there to bump Toy Story 3 out.

Best Actor

Jesse Eisenberg - Colin Firth didn't deserve it, sounded irritating from what I had heard of his performance. Just like Cate Blanchett in The Aviator.

George Clooney - Should've been there to bump Colin Firth or Jeff Bridges out.

Best Supporting Actress

Jackie Weaver - Better than Melissa Leo.

Best Original Song

If I Rise(127 Hours) - Toy Story 3 song wasn't even good.

Best Original Screenplay

Inception - King's Speech? Really? Give me a fucking break, fiction is by nature more original than a true story. Especially a boring one.

Best Adapted Screenplay

The American - should've been nominated at least.

Best Director

Anton Corbijn(The American) - shoud've been there to bump Tom Hooper out.

In short, The American also deserved nominations for Best Cinematography and Best Film Editing.

Best Foreign Film

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - I can't even fathom why this didn't get nominated or why no one appears to be upset, it also should've won but the douches needed to nominate it first. This is probably the second biggest snub for this year's oscars in my opinion.

Lord Of The Rings Extended Blu-rays coming....let the bitching and moaning commence!

Just checked out the promo video for this on Aintitcool and I'm honestly psyched. I picked up the original trilogy when it hit Blu-ray because, well, I love the movies.....both versions. They look great on Blu-ray despite what some people say. They can't wait for the extended versions because they think they'll look soooooo much better. It's almost as if they now deny ever seeing and enjoying the originals in theatres and only hold the extended versions as gospel. Get over it. The theatrical versions started it all. It was the THEATRICAL VERSION of Return Of The King that won 12 ACADEMY AWARDS, not the extended version. I love the extended versions more than the theatricals too, but I don't deny the originals. Similar to the people who say they hate the original Blade Runner. Ummm, guys? It was the original version of Blade Runner that started all the so-called buzz and gave it it's cult status. Again, I like the Final Cut of Blade Runner better than the rest of the versions, including the original, but I still enjoy the original. So shut the fuck up and quit deluding yourselves. Sorry about going off topic a little but it needed to be said. Just my opinion.

Best Of Decade

Last post for the day and the last one till friday. Don't know how indepth I'll go with this one but here's my list of the Top Ten Films of the decade:

10. Wild Hogs(2007)
Can't remember when I laughed this hard for this long that my face literally hurt before the movie was even over. It's been awhile but I might have to go back as far as when I first saw Home Alone 2: Lost In New York(the brick scene killed me everytime).

9. District 9(2009)
Such a unique and original story mixed with some awesome special effects. Still can't believe this movie only cost about $30 million to make and absolutely crushed everyone's expectations by making over $200 million worldwide. The only movie I could compare this one to is Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon where it begins as a documentary and part-way through the film changes into a full-blown horror(and in District 9's case a full-blown sci-fi movie).

8. Inglourious Basterds(2009)
As I said before, been waiting a long time for this one and having no idea what it was going to turn out like Quentin Tarantino created an epic war movie we all wish actually happened. Christoph Waltz and Brad Pitt deserve everything they get for giving such incredible performances(and hopefully an oscar for Christoph Waltz).

7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine(2009)
Yes, another movie from 2009, so what? There were so many great movies out this past year. And yes, this was one of the best in my opinion. One of my favourite comic book movies of all time next to the Blade series(yes, all three).

6. 25th Hour(2002)
Was my all-time favourite for several years and my personal favourite of all Spike Lee's films. Edward Norton deserved an oscar for his performance in this film and he's not the only one. This should have been a best picture contender to say the least.

5. Slumdog Millionaire(2008)
I remember thinking how good could this movie possibly be after hearing a simple summary of it's storyline. A kid from India on it's own version of who wants to be a millionaire? Quite amazing as it turns out. While I would have preferred another movie winning most of the awards this one got at last year's oscars, at the same time Slumdog deserved everything it got.

4. Seven Pounds(2008)
Absolutely could not believe the harsh, depressing reviews this movie received on it's opening weekend. It's one of Will Smith's best performances of his entire career and it's sad that certain people apparently fell asleep during this movie and just decided to single it out as they're token bad review. Just my opinion though, can't imagine someone not loving every minute of this film.

3. Man On Fire(2004)
Best revenge/soldier of fortune movie I've ever seen and certainly one of Denzel and Tony's best films. Looks amazing, sounds amazing and with Christopher Walken makes this one you should watch over and over and cheer everytime he gets the little girl back.

2. The Dark Knight(2008)
Heather Ledger made this movie amazing but he's only part of the equation. Aaron Eckhart gave an almost equally menacing portrayal as two-face and pushed me to see this film 4 times during it's opening weekend. Unbelievable. Best comic book movie ever. EVER.

1. The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button(2008)
Just a beautiful masterpiece of storytelling and visual effects artistry. I personally love narration and Brad Pitt's made this one what I feel should have been the best picture of last year. David Fincher's crowning achievement and one of the few looooong movies I don't mind sitting through repeatedly.

Ciao.

Top Ten Best/Worst of 2009

Hello again, yes this is late for a past year's list but I just started this blog today so deal with it. It's mine and I'm having fun. Not easy to whittle down but I've got a much harder task counting down the top ten best movies of 2009 than the worst. I'm pretty tolerant of most movies but yes, I do dislike certain movies, I'm not in love with them all. Here we go:

Top Ten Best Of 2009:

1.X-Men Origins: Wolverine(Better than the 3 previous X-Men films combined in my opinion. Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool and Liev Schrieber as Victor Creed were the standouts)
2.Inglourious Basterds(Been waiting a looooong time for this one, second best supporting actor performance in history)
3.Halloween 2(Just plain hardcore. Outstanding sequel.)
4.Friday The 13th(Best opening to a horror or any movie for that matter.)
5.District 9(Better movie than most with a fraction of the budget, very unique.)
6.The Box(If I didn't know any better, Stanley Kubrick was alive and well.)
7.Duplicity(Smartest comedy I've seen in a long time.)
8.Terminator Salvation(Much better Sam Worthington performance than in Avatar.)
9.Drag Me To Hell(Most fun I've had watching a horror movie in some time, Sam Raimi at his best)
10.Pandorum(I've been waiting for a decent space horror movie to match up to Event Horizon and this didn't disappoint in the least)


Top Ten Worst Of 2009:

1.Bruno (Just as bad or worse than Borat, least funny comedy ever made)
2.Paranormal Activity(Least scary horror movie since The Blair Witch Project)
3.Orphan(Dumbest twist ending all year and just not very compelling)
4.Knowing(Same problem I had with the Indiana Jones 4 reveal-dumbass aliens!)
5.Angels&Demons(Tense movie completely deflated by pointless twist)
6.Fighting(Really disappointing. Too few fight scenes on top of bad quality)
7.The Final Destination(Decent enough death scenes but the spots meant for 3D were too obvious as to take you out of the movie every time)
8.2012(Great effects during the middle of the movie, but ridiculous Deep Impact style uplifting ending that should've been changed. At least Knowing had the balls to follow through)
9.Brothers(Decent enough performances brought down by Tobey Maguire not being able to act. Spider-Man's gone crazy!)
10.Killshot(Anticipated for too long and then let down.)

I'm going to try and do a best of the decade list just like everyone else but that's going to take some time. Not like I've got anything else to do tonight though. Ciao.

Inaugural Post - Oscar Predictions

Hello to all one of you who may have stumbled across my new blog! I'm absolutely obsessed with film in all forms as the title of my blog states and as such have decided to make my first entry an oscar prediction edition seeing as it's approaching rather rapidly. I can't think of anything else in particular to ramble on about at the moment(don't worry, it'll pass, next one will have plenty of rambling, bitching, complaining and my overall opinions). Without further adieu my 2010 Oscar Predictions:

Let me preface this by saying I'll be making comments after the nominees involving the following:

a)My pick
b)The likely winner
c)The outside chance or underdog.
d)why something may or may not win

Gathering a list of nominees lets go in reverse order as to build up from least interesting to, well, the Best Picture. I will however omit any awards categories where I haven't had a chance to see any of the nominees or I just don't care(i.e. short films, documentaries).


Best Animated Feature Film Of The Year

Coraline(too dark, not made by Pixar)
The Fantastic Mr. Fox(no one uses stop-motion anymore, certainly not Pixar)
The Princess And The Frog(3 D has replaced hand drawn in the preferred animated arena, Disney will get this sooner or later, Pixar didn't make it)
The Secret Of Kells(not even out yet and no one's heard of it and not made by Pixar)
Up(my pick as well as likely winner, it's Pixar so that alone almost guarantees a win)

If you hadn't already guessed, Pixar generally wins the best animated feature category(it's only lost a couple, the first one to Shrek and the other one inexplicably to Happy Feet)

Best Achievement In Visual Effects(why there's only 3 I'll never know, Transformers 2 deserves a nomination as well as G.I.Joe)

Avatar(my pick as well as likely winner, just unbelievable)
District 9(I'd like to see it win just on how little it cost and how good it looks)
Star Trek(great, but not as great as Avatar)

No one watching cares about awards for sound so I'll move past those as well.

Best Achievement In Music Written For Motion Pictures, Original Song

Crazy Heart-"The Weary Kind"
Faubourg 36-"Loin De Paname"
Nine-"Take It All"
The Princess & The Frog-"Almost There"
The Princess & The Frog-"Down In New Orleans"

I haven't seen any of these but if Disney doesn't win with 2 nominees both done by Randy Newman than they're just not trying anymore. That being said, there's a good chance Crazy Heart will walk away with it. Also very surprised Avatar doesn't have it's song included in here.

Best Achievement In Music Written For Motion Pictures, Original Score

Avatar(likely winner)
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Hurt Locker
Sherlock Holmes
Up(my pick, the recurring tune was catchy)

If Up wins anything besides best animated feature this will be it. No chance for best picture.

Best Achievement In Makeup

Il Divo
Star Trek(come on, you really think a period piece will beat Star Trek?)
The Young Victoria

Skipping Art Direction and Costume Design.

Best Achievement In Editing

Avatar
District 9(outside chance)
The Hurt Locker(likely winner)
Inglourious Basterds(my pick)
Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire


Best Achievement In Cinematography

Avatar(likely winner)
Das Weisse Band-Eine Deutsche Kindergeschichte
Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince
The Hurt Locker(my pick)
Inglourious Basterds(outside chance)

Avatar's likely the big winner for the night so most of the awards will likely go to it. Likely. That word's gonna wear out it's welcome just you wait.

Best Writing, Screenplay Based On Material Previously Published ah screw it, it's called Best Adapted Screenplay

District 9(outside chance since this movie was based on the same guy's short film)
An Education
In The Loop
Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire(likely winner which is strange because it's based on the novel by the same name, which is based on the novel push by sapphire, which is already a novel......I'm confused)
Up In The Air(my pick, just expertly written)


Best Original Screenplay(you know what I mean, takes up less space than the other title...well not now but it would have)

The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds(my pick)
The Messenger(outside chance)
A Serious Man(the likely winner)
Up(animated films don't win these awards)

I say animated films don't win these awards because I consider animated films to be inferior to live-action films just in general. They're cartoons, some may be 3 D cartoons but in the end they're still cartoons. Some are for kids, some are for adults but a cartoon is a cartoon and that is never going to win a major award. I'll take the worst live action film over the best animated film almost every time. Having said that, you can probably guess what won't win best picture.

Best Achievement In Directing

Kathryn Bigelow-The Hurt Locker(likely winner)
James Cameron-Avatar(outside chance)
Lee Daniels-Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire
Jason Reitman-Up In The Air
Quentin Tarantino-Inglourious Basterds(my pick)

Hmm, wonder why Up's director wasn't nominated, because you can't direct a cartoon to do something.

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz-Nine
Vera Farmiga-Up In The Air(my pick)
Maggie Gyllenhaal-Crazy Heart(outside chance)
Anna Kendrick-Up In The Air
Mo'Nique-Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire(likely winner)


Best Supporting Actor

Matt Damon-Invictus(outside chance)
Woody Harrelson-The Messenger
Christopher Plummer-The Last Station
Stanley Tucci-The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz-Inglourious Basterds(my pick, likely winner, everyone's pick, why even have the other nominees? Just outstanding, biggest lock since Heath Ledger though not nearly as good a performance)


Best Actress

Sandra Bullock-The Blind Side(my pick and likely winner)
Helen Mirren-The Last Station
Carey Mulligan-An Education
Gabourey Sidibe-Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire(outside chance)
Meryl Streep-Julie & Julia


Best Actor

Jeff Bridges-Crazy Heart(likely winner)
George Clooney-Up In The Air(outside chance)
Colin Firth-A Single Man
Morgan Freeman-Invictus
Jeremy Renner-The Hurt Locker(my pick)

Best Motion Picture Of The Year

Avatar(likely winner)
The Blind Side(great movie, just didn't picture it being listed here)
District 9(going out on a limb but my personal pick, I'll just lose my shit if this wins)
An Eduction
The Hurt Locker(another one I'd like to see win, and it probably will if Avatar doesn't)
Inglourious Basterds(my second choice behind District 9)
Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire(too damn long of a title, doubtful)
A Serious Man(very possible)
Up(like I said, not a snowball's chance in hell, animated films just aren't on the same level in my opinion)
Up In The Air(outside chance, I'd like to see it win)


Well yeah, so that's it, thank you to anyone who actually looked at this. Hopefully I'll keep it up, especially if someone mentions it somewhere or leaves a comment, any comment at all. Ciao.